Total Drama: Spaceballs movie!
by GREAT CELESTIAL-DRAGON
Summary: A crossover of Spaceballs and Total Drama! Lord Dark Helmet or likes to be known as Dark McClain seeks to take away Planet Druidia's fresh air if no one stops him. DxG and slight GxB
1. Chapter 1

"Chris McClain better have a good explaination for bringing my all the way here." Grumbled the annoyed Courtney walking into a theartor and took a chair. Narrowed her eyes to spot her ex, Duncan and her hated rival with his arm aroud her shoulders both laughing. "Or what; sent in your lawyers to do the work?"

"I did got myself in the show didn't I?" She said, walking passed them without looking. Leshawna and Trent sat with them followed by Harold next to Leshawna. Leshawna took a few popcorn and threw it into her mouth."But the girl's got a point, what has Chris and Chef thought up to get us into this time?"

Harold smiled to Harold. "Whatever it is I'm sure to battle alongside my fair Leshawna."

"A little dramatic string beans." Before the two would threw one another's fists or Harold doing the martial arts, they were held back by their friends with Trent and and Gwen holding each of Duncan's arms and Leshawna restraining Harold.

"Hey look! Smoke!" Beth shouted out for all the teens to notice the soke rising and rising from the smoke was a darked clothed figure with a huge helmet over it's head. Hearing the heavy breathing. Hadie and Sadie hugged eachother with frightened expression. Sierra tightly hugged Cody who was hardly getting any air. Then to something odd, the figure looked as though he was struggling to breath, grasping tight on his helmet until pulling the face plate up to show it was Chris inside who was quickly getting air.

"Man! Now (breaths) I know how Rick (breaths) Moranis felt in this costume." Chris gasped for air under his helmet. Chef stood next to him wearing a costume similiar to colonel Sandurs.

"Told you not to breath in that helmet so much!"

Everyone just stared at the two wearing odd costumes. Heather coughed for attention and broke the silence. "OK, to make this quick what are you two wearing?"

"I know! This is from the Spaceballs movie made by Mel Brookes." Harold said with a proud grin while Chris was annoyed.

"Yeah, anyway we thought of recreating a movie thanks to Mel Brooke's approval. We call it... Total... Drama-" However his sentence was punctured by Duncan shouting out. "Actually is there any show or movie not related to-" This time Chris interrupted him by throwing a space ball helmet against his gut before falling on the floor.

"Alright, fine we wont have any title related to Total Drama. As that goes for a warning anyone like to object?" To make him slightly reliefed everyone complied. "Alright I already chosed the lucky cast members for the movie! Chef if you will."

Cast crew so far:

Chris McClain: Dark Helmet (Dark Mcclain as he likes to call himself)

Chef Hatchet: Colonel Sandurz (Colonel Hatchet)

Duncan: Lonestarr

Owen: Barf

Gwen: Princess Vespa (Princess Gwen)

Trent: King Roland, Ruler of Druidia (or as cousin)

Leshawna: Dot Matrix (L matrix which seems to fit)

Geoff: President Skroob (President Geoff thought it would be a laugh)

Cody: Yogurt

Justin: Prince Valium (Both seem suited)

"There rest you will find a suprise in the movie, believe me you will like them." Grinning with pride. "Alright let's get get startd! Lights, camera and Action!"

* * *

_Sorry for being verys short but had to ge this done. Will be doing so in the future, Merry Christmas to all and a happy new year!_


	2. Chapter 2

_Once upon a timewarp..._

_IN a galaxy very, very, very, very, very, far, far away. Man who came up with this oh yeah-there lived a ruthless race of beings known as...Spaceballs!_

_Chapter Seventeen, or was it Eleven_

_Anyway back to the main story, the evil leaders of Planet Spaceball, having foolishly squandered their precious atmosphere, have devised a secret plan to take every breath of fresh air away from their peace-loving nieghbor, Planet Druidia._

_Also today is Princess Gwen's wedding day. Unbeknownist to the princess but knownst to us, danger lurks in the stars above..._

In the dark places of space a massive grey ship, travelling through the blackness of space, at the back of the starship was the sign _"Total Drama Forever!". _Aboard the bridge was Colonel Hatchet standing before the large window.

"Colonel Hatchet!" A spaceball officer stood up from his chair and approached him. "You told me to tell you from the moment planet Druidia was in sight, sir."

Hatchet's eyebrow arched to his hat, looking at the officer. "And?"

"Planet Druidia is in sight, sir."

Hatchet glanced at him, glared at him for the moment. "Your really spaceball, you know that?"

"Thank you, sir."

"Have you notified lord McClain?"

"Yes, sir, he is on his way now!" The officer replied.

_"Make way for Lord McClain!"_ A voice echoed throughout the bridge, Hatchet groaned, narrowing his eyes. "I sometimes hate my life." He sighed. "All rise in the pressence of Lord McClain." Not bothered to sounded prideful but little annoyed. All the spaceballs stood up to their positions as the doors opened for a man in black clothing and a large helmet, walking forward as each spaceball were scared, whimpering or just playig dumb. Mcclain took each step and the heavy breathing inceases until he struggles for air, pulls the helmet out to gain his breath back in the nick of time.

"I have got to get this thing fixed! I couldn't even breath!" McClain gasped, walking to where the colonel stood. "We're approaching planet Druidia, thought I might let you know." Said Hatchet

"Good, I'll call Spaceball City and notify President Geoff immediatly." He picks up a phone in his gloved hand. "I went over your helmet, sir." The Officer who spoked to Hactcher said, McClain's eyes widened, as the colonel was dumbfounded when Lord McCalin puts the phone back down and glares at the officer.

"_What?_ You went over my helmet?" He said in a low tune hiss.

"Well, not exactly over it, just to the side but it won't happen again, ever!" But when the dark lord lifted his hand with a ring around his finger, the officer was trembling and shaking. "Oh, shit! No, no, no, no, no! Please, anythign but that!"

McClain and Hatchet grinned, each with a menacing and mischievous expression. **"Oh yes, that!"** Lowers his helmet back over his face. His ring illuminated with gree light, stabbed out and engulfed the victom around the groin, causing him to hold onto them and letting out a highpitched pain. Falling on his knees as the agonising pain much to their sense of humor until McClain let him go to be taking care of.

"I love this ring." He laughs with the colonel. "Hatchet!"

Hatchet immediatly placed his hands over his groin for protection. "Sir!"

"I was told Druidia is in sight, where is it?"

"We don't have visual contact yet, but will have it on radar, sir, shall I punch it up?" Hatchet said.

"Nah, nevermind, I'll do it myself." Both walk to the radar machine. Doesn't show any thing of the radar on the screen. "What's wrong with this thing, why do I get the turning and bubbling thing on the screen?"

"Uh, Chris, that's Mr. Coffee we bought recently before leaving Spaceball city." The Colonel informed him, showing the sign above them as he said. "Oh, then I shall have coffee! I always have coffee when watching radar screen, _you_ know that?"

"Yep."

"Everyone knows that!" At the cue everyone planted their hands protectively over their crown jewels. _"OF COURSE WE DO, SIR!" _He recieves a cup of coffee from the colonel. "Now that I have my coffee, I can now watch radar. Where is it?"

"Right here." Hactchet gestores to the radar machine next to the coffe machine with the name _"Mr. Radar"._

"Cool, switch to visual." The screen switches to a beautiful lush green planet with a glass dome surrounding it. "There it is: Planet Druidia and underneath that shield is the 10,000 years of fresh air." McClain said.

"_Whew!_ How did they build something like that?" Hatchet asked, almost amazed by the shield.

"I'm just as clueless as you are which is why we must breach that air shield!"

"No problem." Hatchet stated. "Once we have princess Gwen in our hands, we will force her cousin, King Trent to give us the combination of the air shield; thereby destroying planet Druidia and saving planet Spaceball." He grins. Dark McClain turns to the screen.

"Everybody got that?" Turning back to the colonel. "Good, so when will the princess be married?"

"Within the hour, marrying the sleeping beauty, prince Justin." Hatchet answered, McClain grinned as he mirrowed his expression. "Good, I hope it's a long ceremony, cuz it's gonna be a short honeymoon." Both laughed darkly. "Why was Prince Justin nicknamed sleeping beauty?"

"Because he is adored by countless babes but sometimes sleeps and keeps his body adored." McClain snickered by the comment when taking a zip of his coffee his face changed to a colour of red while holding his breath until spatters it out.** "Hot! Too Hot!**

Meanwhile on the peaceful planet of Druidia where the kingdom prepares for the of the pincess Gwen to Prince Justin as also tomorrow would be Bingo Night. Inside the church Gwen dressed in a beautiful wedding dress, although unlike many she has greenish blue hair and pale skin. Thinks this is how she suited despite many think of. Beside her was her cousin Trent.

"Hey thanks for doing this, Trent. It would've been difficult." The Princess smiled at her cousinl

"Man, I wish your parents were here if they were still alive. Hey is everything ready?" Trent asked.

"Yes, your majesty."

"I'm not, where's my maid in honour?" Gwen asked the man.

"Oh, yes that's right, where L? Leshawna Matrix!" Entering inside was a golden female robot rolling with roller blades.

"Easy there, this booty was just built last week! I didn't got myself dentedefore my best friend's wedding." L said, gesturing her golding butt cheeks.

"OK, people be ready it's magic time!"

Gwen groaned. "Ugh, I wish I wasn't here!"

"I would know the feeling if I was in your place! The wedding music started on and all the guests stood up. Trent taking his cousins' arm, walking down the pathway until Gwen stops as does the music. "Wait! Must I go through with this?" She asked him, not liking the idea.

"I'm really sorry but you have to, unfortunately this dude is the last prince in the galaxy!" The king whispered to her, noticing Prince Justin waving to her and then yawns loudly before admiring himself from a small mirror in his hand. The bride and the king continued forward but stops again by Gwen. "But I don't love this guy, no offence to him but he's just a dude who only cares about his looks and how attractive he is."

"I would know the same thing if that was a princess I have to marry, so come on, unless you want him dead." That thought would come to her mind but would not be her nature. They appraoch the vicar who was ready to marry her and the prince.

"Dearly beloved, we are gathered here on this joyish day, to witness the marriage of Prince Justin and Princess GWen, cousin of king Trent-" But before finishing his sentence Gwen made a run for it along with L holding on to the end of her gown. "-_Right_ past the Alter. _Heading_ down the path and going to the front door!"

"Gwen! Where are you going? Stop her? Stop her?" The king and alot of people were now chasing after her. Leshawna was strolling down the pathway behind Gwen. "Hey now, girl, what are you doing? Hold on, you forgot to get married!"

Trying to make sence with her best friend as Gwen opens the small car-like starship.

"No time for questions now, Leshawna! Get in!" Before the robot continued her protest she was pulled inside before everyone in the church rushed out too late to find them in air. Justin was about to ask her to come back but his yawning caught up. Trent smacked his hand on his face while his cousin was now high as the shields were. Probably escaping into space.

* * *

_Hope you enjoyed it! I had to stop there to make viewers get ideas for it of what will happen next, I also like to point out I have not forgotten about the Alternate Total Drama series it takes time to think of ideas but easy with the episodes to help. Also will be working on College more to pass in my Level 2 final project so hope you have a good time everyone!_


	3. Chapter 3

Somewhere in space an starship in a appearance of an RV with jetwings and a set of wheels despite being in space. In the back of the ship a large Mog with blonde hair with a bucket of ice cream to eat while dancing with the rock music rythem, wagging his tail and large butt. A sleeping adult teen, Duncan Lonestarr snored with a western hat over his face, a red flashing a 'Incoming message' disturbed his nap. Groaning from his peaceful snooze. "Ow...Owen...Owen!" Shouting out his friend's name, Owen's large ears twitched when hearing his name.

"Huh?" Owen sighed, switched the radio off and put his chicken bucket down. "Always when I'm eating." Heading to the front where Duncan was. "ThoughtI get myself a snack, want one?"

"No! Answer that will ya?" Stirred from his sleep with the help of Owen's tail brushed up against him when turning around. "Watch where you throw that thing, geez." Rubbing his face, looking at Owen with an annoying expression.

"Sorry I'll just pu the audio switch that way no one will see ya." He pushed the button when the screen showing a robot with mid-length brown hair, wearing a black hat, sunglasses and an expensive suit. _"Hello Lonestarr, eh."_

"Ezekiel? Whoops, wrong switch." Owen whispered, both snickered of the joke. "Ezekiel, what a suprise, what can we can do for you?"

_"Oh no, no, no."_ His head twitched, returning his gaze with a grin. _"It's now what I want, yoh. It's what_ he _wants." _The screen turns a large monster made up of pizza. "Pizza the Hutt!" Both Duncan and owen gasped, Duncan's expression showed he was ready to puke but owen's was quite the opposite, as if he wanted to take a bite out of him seeing as he was made up food.

_"Well, if it isn't Duncan Lonestarr and his chubby sidekick, Bowen."_

"That's owen." He immediately corrected him.

_"Bowen, Owen, whatever, where's my money?" _He said sternly.

Duncan lifted his hat and made a fake cough. "Not to worry, Pizza, you'll have it next week."

_"Oh, no. I gotta have it by tomorrow."_ The teen looked at the screen with wide eyes. "A 100,000 space bucks by tomorrow?"

_"A 100,000? Ha, ha, ha! No way, you forgot late charges, Lonestarr. Which brings it up to, um, 1 million space bucks."_ Both their eyes were now wide as dinner plate by the debt more bigger than they imagined. _"A million by tomorrow? That so unfair, dude!" _

"Unfair to pay all, but enough to pay ee, but you gonna pay it, or else."

Owen gulped, feeling nervous. "Or else what?"

_"Tel 'em Ezekiel."_ Pizza chuckled, the robot quickly chuckles and twitches again. _"Or else Pizza is gonna send out for you, dog."_ Both laughed, the robot took a slice of his boss and hada bite. _"Hmm, not bad."_

_"Chow boys. See you tomorrow." _They continue to laugh until Duncan switched the screen off and fell back against his chair.

After escaping a near marriage Leshawna and Gwen in her ship, both decided to listen to some music. Leshawna decided to ask her best friend to talk. "Yoh, can we talk? Ok, girl, I know Prince Justin is a airhead supermodel-type of guy, but you could've married him for your cousin's sake, and have a head for next 25 years or so."

Gwen turned to her friend and sighed. "Yeah, maybe. But what I did was right and you know it so that makes me glad."

The robot shurgged. "Eh, probably. But I doubt he would notice you anyway by checking himself every few seconds.

On Planet Spaceball, in the capital city 'Spaceball City' named after the planet known for having sphere/dome-shaped buildings. In the president office, President Geoff while wearing a suit and his lucky cowboy hat talked to one of his speakers. "Yeah, yeah, I heard it myself. I can assure you and your viewers, dude, that there is absolutely no air shortage. Yes, of course. Later" Put his phone down, sighed in relief. "Idiot." Pulling out his desk drawer full of cans with each one having the name 'Perrier Salt-Free Air'. Taking one out to open and started breathing the air, until...

_"President Geoff." _A large widescreen appeared on the wall, displaying a young blonde woman. The moment she appeared, Geoff quickly throws the can over his shoulder and closes the drawer from her seeing the cans.

"Yeah?"

_"This is Central Control, Spaceball Commanderette Bridgette speaking, sir."_ Spoke formal but with red cheeks.

"Yeah, babe, what is it?"

The commanderette spoke out. _"Lord McClain has informed us that Princess Gwen is in sight, and _Spaceball 1_ is closing in on her." _

"Great!" Geoff smiled, hearing the good news.

"We have both ships coming up on the radar, sir, if you want to observe?"

"Hey, any action that's happening is cool by me. I'll be down immediatly, How about beaming me over?" He asked her through the screen.

_"Are you sure that's a good idea, although we had some modifications last night." _Said Bridgette with a worried expression.

"Hey I'm up for the challange. What the hell, it works on Star Trek." He walks to the beaming pod, waiting to be beamed over when ready. Bridgette turned to the side of the screen. "Beth, beam him down."

_"Yes, sir. Immediately, Sir."_ The pod transported the president from his office to Central Control where he reappears only with a shock to everyone.

"Gees feesetes, what's happened to his head?"

Bridgette gasped at the sight. "It's on backwards!"

Geoff was freaked out of his head being on the wrong place. "This is really, really freaky, man! someone do something!"

Beth looked at him nervously from her seat. "I'm sorry, sir. There must of been a microconverter malfuction. I was told by Officer Lindsey that it was operational."

"Oh, you mean the beam thingy? I thought you meant by the structuring part I didn't get. Oops." The other blonde girl said nervously. Geoff was checking his butt which he didn't seem worried.

"Hey, cool. I could see my own butt, maybe I cold find my tattoo." Bridgette coughed for his attention befor ehe would go further. "Uh, sir, sorry we'll do something right away. Beth."

"Hold on, sir. We'll try and reverse the beam. Could be the interlocking system." She said. Geoff scratches his butt and wistling while Beth does her work. "Lock 1, lock 2, lock 3, lock lone." Geoff was beamed back in his office and his head in the right way. Bridgette appears on the wall again. _"Are you alright, Mr. President?"_

"Fine, fine, no thanks to whoever didn't check it probably." He said.

_"We'll beam you back as soon as we got it right." _Geoff went pale after her statement. "Uh, uh. Forget it, no more beaming. This time I'm gonna walk, mom said it's good for the excercise."

He walks out of the office and right next door was where he was beamed into earlier. "Pesident Geoff, salute!"

"Hail Geoff!" All officers saluted him with the right hand up and left on the right arm. He walked to Bridgette for status. "So, where's the princess?"

"Right there, sir. On the left side of the screen, appraoching Spaceball 1, at fiften hundred light leagues per minute."

"Awsome. She's almost in our grasp." Said Geoff. "Tell Lord McClain he must take the princess alive."

In front of _Spaceball 1_ was Gwen's ship, unaware they were being pursued. Colonel Hatchet and Lord McClain stand in front of the bridge. "The princess' ship should be within range right about now."

**"Good. Fire a warning shot across her nose."** Lord McClain ordered and they began firing. Both girls realise what was happening with the ship shaking alot.

"What's going on?" Gwen asked while trying to maintain control.

Leshawna managed to keep herself still to answer her question. "Either it's the 4th of July, or someone trying to kill us!"

Gwen managed to see the reflection of their attacker and gasped. "No way do I have to put up with this." She picks up the phone and began dialing.

"What are you doing?"

"Calling Trent, need to let him know what's going on. 1-800-Druidia."

Meanwhile on _Spaceball 1_, they continue to fire until Lord McClain lift's his helmet up, looking at the officer who was ordered to fire. "Careful you idiot. I said _across_ her nose, not _up_ it!"

The Gunner lifts his eye gaurd with a cross-eyed-look in his eyes. "Sorry, sir. Doing my best."

Lord McClain turned to Hatchet. "Who made him a gunner?"

"I did, sir. He's my cousin." The major stated with his eyes crossed aswell.

McClain was puzzled and asked the colonal. "Who the hell is he?"

"He's an Asshole."

"Well I know that. What I meant what's his name?"

"That _is_ his name. _Major _Asshole." he told the suprised McClain. "And his cousin?"

"He's an Asshole, too."

"Just how many Assholes have we got on this ship, anyhow?"

_"YOH!"_ To answer his question, nearly everyone on the entire bridge raised one hand. "I knew it. I always thought I be surrouded by Assholes." Pulls his helmet down again and shouts out his orders. **"Keep firing, Assholes!" **They continue to fire as ordered. Gwen and Leshawna were having the worst of luck to get out of the mess they were in.

"Come on, Trent. Where are you? Hurry! We're about to be blown to smitherines!"

"And I just had my upgrades about a week ago!" Leshawna grunted.

Aboard _Eagle 5_ Duncan and Owen recently recieved an urgent message. _"King Trent to Duncan. King Trent to Duncan, can you hear me. Dunca, man, am I glad to reach you, you gotta save my cousin. she's being attacked by Spaceballs." _

Both reacted to when he mentioned them, a little nervous about it. "Spaceballs? Forget it, pal. Too dangerous. Besides, I'm already on Lord McClain _and_ Hatchet's hit list.

"Look, your royalness, buddy, it's not that we're afraid. Far from it. It's just we got this thing about them, and me more about dying. It's not us." Owen explained to the king. Trent was worried and couldn't blame them alittle. _"Come on. You're the only ones who can save her. I'll give anything. Did you here me? Anything." _

Both their ears perked, hearing the word 'anything' which could be their luck. Owen asked him. "You said you'll give anything?"

_"Yes!" _

Duncan grinned like he hit the big score. "Okay, we'll do it for... a million." Trent shook after hearing how much they demanded.

_"A million!"_ Owen went for the consule. "Whoa, we're starting to loose ya anyminute. Losing picture, your higness."

The king quickly reacted. _"Alright, alright, I'll pay it so long as as Gwen's save! Just find her, Cool?" _

Duncan smiled at him when given the right answer. "You got it! One princess for a million spacebucks, coming up!"

Owen picked a notepad and pencil. "Awsome! Now what ship is the princess in?"

_"A brand new, white Mercedes, 2001 SEL Limited Edition. Moon roof, all leather interior. I got it at a very good price, man. Paid cash. My cousin, Prince DJ, has a dealership in the valley. He was an cool guy._

Duncan nodded at him. "we get the idea. Where was she last seen?"

_"From what I've been told she was just passing Jupiter 2, you can't miss her there." _

"No problem, your higness, dude. We'll find her." Owen said.

Trent was relieved to hear it._ "Thanks, guys. Bring her back safely. And, if it's all possble try, to safe the ship. My parents will kill me if they find out it's been taken again." _He disappears from the TV screen, leaving the two happy males.

"Alright! 1 million spacebucks. We'lle be able to pay off Pizza the hutt."

"Gimme paw, man." Both howl like a pair of dogs in celebration.

After firing their lasers at the princess' ship, a magnetic beam of light was fired and caught the ship and slowly pulling it into the opened hatch of _Spaceball 1_.

Gwen was comfused. "Now what's going on? We're not moving."

"Oh, we're moving alright., backwards." Leshawna gestured her thumb over her shoulder.

Duncan and Owen arrive in time to see they were too late but would have enough to make a rescue. Duncan pointed his finger to the small captured ship. "Look, there's our princess. Looks like she's got company.

"Worst, Spaceballs. And they've already got her in their magnetic beam." Owen proclaimed in worry. "Oh, well, we're too late. What a shame, I'll just throw her in reverse and we'll get outta here." wanting to escape while they were out of the Spaceballs' firing range but Duncan prevented him.

"Owen, no. Bad."

"Come on. What are we doing risking our lives for a runaway princess? I know we need the money-"

"Listen! We're not just doing this for money." Owen looked at him, thinking how he could say things like that until he noticed the small grin on his face. "We're doing it for a _shit_ load of money!"

Owen smiled and couldn't agree more. "Your right, and when your right, your right, and you, your always right. Okay, we save her, but how? The minute we move in there, they'll spot us on their radar."

"True, but not if we jam it."

"Ah, ah! Your right."

"We still have some left, haven't we?" Narrowed his eyes at the large blonde.

"I couldn't help but feel hungry all the time. I need it for a sandwhich."

Dunca rolled his eyes and sighed. "We better get this. Down scope."

"Down scope." The scope comes down. Owen looks through the scope and focuses on the radar as his target. "Radar about to be jammed." Through the scope was a jar of jam flying into the radar and smashed into it. A reddished haired radar technician, Harold was trying to figure out the problem. Making sound effects along with the static. "Ssssshit. Sir?"

"What is it?" Hatched looked over along with Lord McClain.

"Can I talk to you for a minute, please, sir." Harold spoke through the microphone and the two walk over to him.

"Well, scrawny kid, what is it?"

"I'm having trouble with the radar, sir." Continues to speak with through the microphone.

"You don't need that, private, we're right here!" Hangs it up from the private. "Now, what is it?"

"I'm having trouble with the radar, sir." Doing the same thing but through his mouth, the annoyed McClain ripped the microphone-mask up. "Now, what is it? And talk in a normal voice." Narrowing his eyes at him.

"Well as you would know I'm having trouble."

"What's wrong with it, fool?" Hatchet said.

"I've lost the bleeps, I've lost the sweeps, and lost the creeps."

Hatch and McClain both had one eyebrow arched in confusion.

"The What?"

"What?"

"And the what?"

Harold demonstrated to them. "Gosh, you know. The bleeps." Makes the bleeping noises. "The sweeps." Then does the sweeps noises. "And the creeps." Finally makes creeps sounds, McCalin turned to Hatched and whispered to him.

"That's not all he lost." Hatchet nodded, Harold turned shocked for what he was looking at. "Sir. The radar, sir. It appears to be..." Jam dripping down the screen. "Jammed."

"What?" McClain takes a taste of the jam. "Raspberry. There's only one who would dare give me raspberry." Hatchet took a step back when the dark lord pulls down his helmet. **"Duncan Lonestarr!" **

"Uh, Chris?" Before the colonel had the chance to warn him the camera hits against his helmet, falling backwards and hitting the ground. "Never mind." Everyone took noticed and carried on like nothing happened.

* * *

_I'll be working on the ATDI chapter already and may come a bit late seeig as Art college is becoming very busy also I'll be going to London next week on Wednesday. I had thought of ending the chapter with Chris being hit on the helmet when they go to ludicrous speed but maybe leave it to the next chapter. The Asshole part was one of my favourites and remembered how it went._


	4. Chapter 4

Gwen and Leshawna had thought this was the end of them the minute the Spaceballs got them in the tractor beam when all of a sudden a thump was heard above them.

"What was that?" The princess wondered as so was the golden droid. They heard another sound but was more of a knock.

"Forget that. What was that?" The roof opened and both gasped at the sight of a large butt. "Eew!" Gwen gagged when they see the face of a large overweight blonde guy smiling. "Sorry, was looking for a way in?" Laughed nervously.

Gwen crossed her arms over her chest and looked annoyed. "Who are you?"

He smiled again and threw down his arm to shake. "My names Owen-_UURRP!_" The large belge made the princess grimaced at the stench of his breath. Her best friend didn't took it too well with her hands on her metal hips.

"Dude, that is sick! Ever heard its rude to burp infront of royalty? Not to mention manners?" Glaring at him.

Owen decided to introduce himself. "Sorry, I'm a Mog. Half-man, half-dog. I'm my own bestfriend and so is food."

Gwen recovered quickly and decided to ask a question. "Okay, what do you want?"

"Oh, right. Your cousin hired Captain Duncan and me to save you. C'mon, we gotta climb up this ladder and get outta here."

"Better off trusting him than be held prisoners." Leshawna couldn't agree more with him. "After you, princess. Follow the dog."

"uh, Mog. I'm a Mog." He corrected her.

"My bad."

"Hang on, I need help carrying my luggage." Both women look at the saviour who started whimpering like an actual dog. Gwen was the first to clim up the ladder, followed by Leshawna, then Owen with both of them carrying the luggage.

"Yoh, don't even think of looking up at our skirts, you dig?" Leshawna warned Owen.

"Sorry." Duncan waited for Owen to return with the princess, hearing the loud noise Owen was making and surprised how many luggage he was carrying. "Checking in? What the hell is all that?"

"Ith fer hoyel hehness mach luccoch!" Duncan was confused and didn't get a signle word Owen said. "Dude, I can't understand a word your sayin with your mouth full." Owen removed the strap from his mouth and dropped the luggage.

"Its her royal highness' matched luggage."

Duncan wanted to slap himself on the face. "Matched luggage, huh? What does she think this is..." His sentence was cut off after Owen his him with his tail. "...a princess cruise?"

"Well, she wouldn't go without it. Plus, she said she needed something incase anything bad would happan."

"Like the one we're in now. Least she seems little opposite to my bossy ex-girl." He muttured the last part of the sentence before picks up themicrophone, Owen hits him again with his tail and was given a death glare from his boss. "Do that again and you may go on a freindly diet."

"Sorry." Owen apologised and took his seat whille Duncan begins giving out instructions to their guests. "Now hear this, as soon as we get outta here, the first thing we do is dump the matched luggage."

At the back of the ship Gwen and Leshawna soon heard the captain's voice and his instructions. Gwen looked annoyed when thinking she was their everyday princess.

"Oh yeah, you hear this, whoever you are, I ain't like no other snubbish princess. The luggage are packed with things I may need for my trip to get the hell outta here. And if I have to be in this trashed-styled place makes me think it belongs to that Owen guy who helped us."

They soon hear a familiar voice in Duncan's place. "Uh, actually I own part of the ship and if you find a box of chicken wings that's mine." Leshawna sat down and suddenly found a box of chicken what Owen mentioned. "Found it." She muttured.

"Give me that!" Duncan's voice was heard again. "Listen; on this ship, I don't take orders, I give 'em! Got it, sweetheart?

The princess silently gasped and narrowed her eyes. "What?"

"Oh, no he didn't?" The golden robot knew no one would mess with her friend, especially calling her 'sweetheart'.

"Now you listen to me, pal! As much as I don't take much interest in my nobility but you should address me by my title in a proper manner as your royal higness or ma'am!" Gwen proclaimed nd carried on. "I am Princess Gwen, cousin of Trent, king of the Druids.

Back on the bridge Duncan sighed and fell back on his chair. "Great. That's all we needed. A Drewish princess."

Owen looked at his boss in confusion. "Funny, she doesn't look Druish."

They immediately abandon the princess' ship before it entered the opened hatch for entry. All the officers surround the vehicle before Hatchet and chris made their entry.

**"Now, we will show her who's in charge of this galaxy."** One of the gaurds cocks their weapons ready to fire.

**"Wait. I'll handle this myself."** The dark lord suggested.

"Ya-ho, lord McClain!" Both the colonel and the dark lord look at him strangely and watch McClain approach the captured vessel. **"So, Princess Gwen, you thought you could outwit the impperious forces of planet Spaceball."** Gives out a dark chuckle. **"You are now our prisoner, and will be held hostage until such time, as all of the air is transferred from your precious air to ours."** Opens the door and what he found inside was nothing, no Princess or anything. Pokes his head inside to search for her but still nowhere to see her, Lord McClain lifts his head out, long with the mask.

"We seem to be missing something here, Chef." The Colonel seemed puzzled by the question he brought up. "Like what?"

"Oh, I dunno, maybe we're missing the princess! She's _not_ in there!" He stated and all the gaurds dropped their guns and covered their groins protectively. "How could she escaped our tractor beam?" Chef was shocked as McClain was.

_"Radar repaired, sir. We're picking up the outline of a Winnebago."_ One of the officers spoke through communications."

"Winnebago?" McClain blinked, dumbfounded to realise who owns a Winnebago. "Duncan. Duncan!" Thrusted his thists against the small vehicle, without knowing the door he lifted fell back down, trapping him in with his legs kicking while Chef only stood there and drawn attention to the gaurds. "Well what the hell are you meatbags waiting for? Get to your stations and after that Winnabago!"

While the crew of _Eagle 5_ made their escape, Duncan and Owen discovered _Spaceball 1_ changed its course towards them. "Uh oh. Here comes the bad year blimp." Duncan said.

"Oh crap, we better get outta here! Fast!"

Duncan pulled his seatbelt to buckle up, followed by Owen. "Owen, switch to secret hyerjets." Giving his order.

"Switching to secret hyperjets." OWen repeated the command as Duncan pulled out the microphone to speak with the princess. "Buckle up back there, ladies, we're going into hyperactive."

Onboard Spaceball 1 Chris and Hatchet stood in front of the bridge, both wearing evil grins on their faces. "We're closing in on them, they'll think twice not to mess with us." Hatchet cracked his knuckles along with the inzane chuckle. "In less than a minute, Duncan will wish he was never born."

**"Sweet. Prepare to attack."**

"Preparing to attack!"

**"On the count of three. One, two..."** Before Chis could say one, Eagle 5 made a quick jump to hyperactive. "What?" Lord McClain lifted his mask, dumbfounded with eyes wide as plates. "What happened? Where they go?"

"I don't know! They must have hyperjets on that thing." Hatchet said, looking as shocked as Chris was.

"And what the hell have we got on this thing a quezinart?" Lord McClain said in a sarcastic tune.

"How should I know? I don't even know what a quezinart looks like!"

Lord McClain muttured then returned to giving out orders. "Well, find them so we can catch them!."

"Hmph, no need to tell me twice." Pulls out the loudspeaker. "Prepare ship for light speed."

"Woah, wait, lightspeed is too slow for us."

"Wadda ya mean lightspeed too slow?" The Colonel seemed little nervouse for where this was leading them into by the gleaming look on the dark lord's face.

"Yes, dude, we're gonna have to go right to... _ludicrous_ speed!" Grinning to the last part, hearing many gasps in shock and horror, including Hatchet. "Ludicrous speed? Your out of your mind! We've never gone that fast before. I don't know if this ship can take it."

"Oh really? What's the matter, Colonel Hatchet, chicken? _Bawk, bawk bawk bawk!_" Mocking him with a chicken impression, causing Hatchet to glare at him and gritted his teeth. He wouldn't allow himself to be called a 'chicken'.

"Your gonna eat those words, _McClain_." Muttured coldly, begins speaking through the loudspeaker with a clear throat. "Prepare ship for ludicrous speed, I repreat; prepare ship for ludicrous speed."

At his command all the officers immediately scrambled in all directions, running to their chairs and fastening themselves. "Fasten all seat belts, seal all entrances and exits, close al shops in the mall, cancel the 3-ring circus, secure all animals in the zoo-Just how much stuff we got in this ship anyhow?"

Pulling out a list of stuff in his hand to Chris who takes the microphone from him. "Never mind that keep to the script. Now hear this! Ludicrous speed..." Chef made quick timing to his seat net to the console. "Chris, you might wanna buckle up first."

"Aah, buckle this this. Ludicrous speed! GO!" At his command the ship takes off, taking hold on to the console by such incredible force it. The ship shudders violanty, the display lights up; Light Speed, Ridiculous Speed, and then Ludicrous Speed. Chris felt his body being pulled back by that amount of speed, along with all the officers, including Hatchet.

_"W-Wha-a-t have I do-o-o-ne?"_ Chris said with his mouth pulled back. _"My brains are going into my feet!"_ The stars they saw went passed them, replaced a bridge colourful tunnel of which is Ludicrous speed.

It was so fast they passed over Eagl 5, Duncan and Owen only saw a red blur. "Great pyramid of Gaiza! What was that?" Owen stared out in awe and shock aswell as Duncan. "I think that was Spaceball 1. They've gone to plaid."

Chris could nolonger take the amount of force and realised that they went too fast. "W-We passed them! S-sto-o-p t-h-i-s thi-i-i-n-ng!" Ordering the colonel, feeling his fingers could slip any minute.

Hatchet grunted while turning to the dark lord. "You crazy fool! At this speed we could get blown to smithereens!"

Chris glared at him. "Bullshit! I orde-er you! _Stop. This. Thing!_" The colonel reached out for the leather with the sign saying 'Emergancy stop never use' and pulled it foward. The ship jumped out of Ludicrous speed, returning to normal space. Chris flew in a blur to one's point of view and crashed right into the panel. Chef unbuckled himself to help the dark lord up to his feet.

"Are you alright?" He asked.

"Fine, how've you been?" Chris asked him, trying to keep his balance.

"Uh, good, sir. And a damn good thing you were wearing that helmet."

"Oh, yeah." Chris answered. "So have we stopped?"

"We stopped." Hatcher answered instantly.

"Cool. Why... don't we take a five minute break?" Lord McClain thought.

"No problem with that." The colonel agreed.

Chris smiled and almost about to loose balance. "Smoke if you got 'em." Falling forward, flat against the floor.

Duncan takes the Eagle 5 out of hyperactive after successfully loosing the Spaceballs. Returning them to normal space.

"Takin' her out of hyperactive." Owen said. "Ah, congrads, boss, we did it! THey must have overshot us by a week and a half."

Both laughed and Duncan says to his partner. "Okay, now let's set a course for Druidia."

"Settin' a course for Drui-ie-ie-ie!" The ship suddenly began to shake in every directions.

"What the hell's going on?" Duncan could barely keep still on his chair.

"I dunno, I dunno!" Owen panicked. "We're losing power and outta gas!"

"We've must've burned it up in hyperactive." Duncan proclaimed.

"We're gonna crash into that desert planet straight ahead!" Pointing to the planet they were in orbit and falling rapidly. "We're gonna DIE!"

Duncan slapped him accross the face to calm down. "Okay, don't panick, dude! We'll have enough power to set her down. Prepare for emergancy landing. Quick, give me a reading."

Owen suddenly started praying with his hands together. How, oh Father, be in heaven. Thou will be Thy name, by kingdom come..."

"Will you stop that?" Duncan takes the microphone in his hand. "Keep your seat belts fastened back there. You okay, princess?"

At the back both the princess and her maid were having a hard time with so many stuff flying about and the ship shaking in everyway. "_No_, you idiot! Where'd you learn to drive?" Shouted angrily at him.

They fall directly into around them were a vast desert. Duncan tried steering over the dunes.

Owen was in a state of panic while giving directions to his boss. "AH! Left, right-I mean right! Pull up, pull up!" It was too late, the ship crashed into the sand dunes. Gwen was not a very happy princess after her so-called 'rescue' almost got them killed.

Getting up to march to meet the captain of the ship. "Where are you going?" Leshawna pulled herself up form the floor.

"I'm going to see the captain and tell him that he must be the stupidest pilot I ever met."

"Tell him that after he gets us outta here first."

"Called me an idiot?" Duncan shouted when unbuckling his seat belt. "I'm going back there and explain a few things to her."

"Besides, he's gotta fine, sexy voice. He might be cute if you might add." The golden droid suggested with a smile on her faceplate.

Owen watched his boss doing his belt and tried to assure him. "Yeah, but, you don't know what she looks like."

"Ha, I know what she looks like by the vocie and status; If you've seen one princess, you've seen 'em all."

Gwen's eyes bulged wide as plates then turned to a glare. "Cute? I know these guys. They're all alike. Fat, ugly-"

"Slave driving, buck-toothed, knock-knees-"

"Bear-swilling, pigs." She finished before leaving the room with a steamed face.

"Horse-face, space dogs." He gets up and storms to the back.

"Duncan-yeah, well, I normally-" Owen didn't finished his sentence when he felt a sharp pain in his grown against the belt he still had on. "Ow, that's gonna leave a mark." Said in a high-pitched voice. The princess and the pilot entered the same room and finally met face-to-face, not what they were expecting at eachother. Duncan could hardly know what to say as did the princess until she manages to speak. "Now listen you-"

"You listen. On this ship, your to refer me as idiot, not you captain." Duncan announced, realising he mixed up the words and dumbfounded himself.

Gwen pulled a smirk fromt the corner of her lips and her arms around her chest. "Wow, you sure made that clear. And As what I was gonna say, you can either refer to me as your highness or stick your nose up someone's-"

"Woah, hold it, time out!" Owen stepped in with his hands in a T-gesture. "May I make a small suggestion? Any minute now, Spaceballs is gonna make a major U-turn, head back this way and make us all dead!"

Duncan nodded. "Dude's right, let's go."

"And just how are we gonna escape? We are in the middle of a desert!" Gwen pointed out in his face.

"Listen, you royal-"

"Yeah?" She gave him a dangerous glare saying to him that she is not to be messed with.

"... _highness_." Duncan reluctantly finished his sentence without any insults. "Take only what you need to survive."

"Fine. That's something I can take. And advice, keep you friend a few feet from the food we need to eat." The Princess gave a simple request before darted off back to her stuff before they leave. "For once we agree on something, princess!" He shouted after her before turning to see Owen trying to sneak into the kitchen before he got spotted and acted innocent on him.

"What? huh, just a little snack before we walk across the desert moon."


	5. Chapter 5

**Note: Sorry for a long wait for this chapter. I thought I should decide to finish this off. I had to have a small break so I could get a clear mind for the other fanfics.**

The four made their journey across the scorching desert, carrying many luggages from the ship. Duncan and Owen had to carry one of the large luggage. One heavy luggage it was. Leshawna tried to keep up with Gwen with the umbrella over her head. "Slow down, girl. i'm getting sand up my gear."

"Boy, I hope they didn't forget anything." Owen said to Duncan as they continue their journey.

"Ok, wait a minute put it down Owen." The two placed the luggage down, Duncan opened it and found something that surprised him "What is this?!"

"Is it food?"

Duncan pulled himself out of the luggage, holding a pile of CD cases with names of rock bands on them. "A collection of rock and heavy metal music! I had no idea you were into all this! Ah, no way Bloodbath 2: Summer camp horror! I love that movie!"

"No way that's my favourite movie, I love the part where the guy shoved his victim's head in the lawnmower."

"Or when he threw his victim in the wood-chipper!" Gwen added. "I always love those kinds of movies but a lot of people say they're too scary for my status."

"Especially when parents tell you to betave." Before he goes on he found a huge hairdryer and looked at her, dombfounded. 'What the hell is this? I said take only what you need to _survive!_"

"How the hell did that get in my luggage? I did wonder why it was so heavy."

"Well its gonna have to go for us to move easier and lighter. Say bye-bye to your industrial hairdryer." He chucked it out of the case and let it fall on the sand.

"Okay now can we go? Standing around here is making me feel sweaty and tired over heat."

"Well its getting dark soon, me and Owen are gonna make some fire to keep us warm while you princess can relax."

"Come on girl." Leshawna said, following the princess and keeping her underside. The boys follow with a much lighter case, feeling much better now.

Onboard _Spaceball 1_ the crew had managed to make their way back to where they lost the princess and Duncan. Lord Mclean and Colonel Hatchet were trying all they can to find her to get the combination to get all their fresh air.

**"Have you found them yet?"**

"No, my lord. They're still not on the scanners." The Corporal responded nervously.

**"Well keep looking for them." **Lord Mclean took his coffee and cranked it through his mask. Hatchet comes up with an idea. "Hold up, Chirs. I have an idea. Corporal, get me the DVD of _Spaceballs the Movie_."

"Yes, sir." The Coroporal walks to the wall labeled ' '' and lifts the wall to find a collection of DVDs and going through them to find it.

**"Colonal Hatchet, may I speak with you, please?"** Hatchet walks to him as Chris lifts his helmet to whisper close. "How can there be _Spaceballs_ _the Movie_? We're still in the middle of making it."

"Not this one, the original version which would help us know where those brats may have gone to. Not to mention rumors believe we're making the 5th season of Total Drama."

Chris looked at him confused. "Hm, haven't had word witht he producers. Sierra must've had a leak in. Remind me to tighten security after this."

"Here it is, sir. Spaceballs!"

"Good work, put it in." The Colonal commandedThe Corporal pulled out the case and took the disc out and into the computer. "OK, now select 'Play' and fast forward it."

"Preparing to fast-forward." They start at the beginning of the film. Going past the prologue and the ship. Chris and Hatchet watch to find the place they are in. They reached the part where Lord 'Mclean' initiated Ludicrous speed and afterwards watches himself flung into the controls, helmet first. The Corporal and Colonel tried to conceal, Mclean however didn't. "Sure took a hit with that helmet."

Ignoring his comment. "Past this part. In fact, never play this again!" Sipping his coffee as they continue to fast-forward.

"Wait, try here. Stop" At Hatchet's order the movie stops at the exact thing that is actually happening now. They were shocked at how they were really looking at themselves. Mclean looks at the camera, then turns back to the monitor. Hatchet did the same thing after him, both were nervous and confused as how this was happening to them. They did it again until Mclean turns back to the monitor, waves his hand and back to the camera.

"What in all that is sane am I looking at?! When the hell does this happen in the movie?" The Dark lord proclaimed. Not wanting to sound hysterical and crazy.

"I think this is Now. We're looking at now."

"Oh, so everything 'now', is everything now."

The Colonal was now even more confused. "Wait? What? You're not making any sense! What happened to then"."

"We passed then?"

"Don't go into riddles! When?!"

"Just now. We are at now, now." It was still not making any sense for the Colonel.

"W-when was this?

"Now." Mclean answered.

"Now?" Hatchet asked.

"Now."

"Can't, dude."

"Why?"

"We missed it."

"When?!"

"Just now. Hey wait, was't this the other way round?" Lord Mclean pondered.

"Your making my brain spin! I dunno what's now or when!" Hatchet held his head, his eyes spinning and ready to faint until the movie was stopped by the corporal at the point when Duncan, Owen, Gwen and Leshawna are walking through the desert they crashed. "Colonel Hatchet."

"What?" He asked after straightening himself out.

"We've identified their location.

Lord Mclean's eyes widened and turned to him. "Where?"

"The moon of Vega."

Hatchet grinned and snickered. "Good work. Set a course, prepare for our arrival and make sure they don't spot us"

"When?"

"Nineteen-hundred hours, sir."

"Make it snappy. By high-noon, tomorrow, they'll wish they never messed with us."

"WHO?!" It was Mclean's turn to nearly loose his marbles as his helmet slid down and the two looked at him in wonder.

Back on Vega. Night had fallen as Owen was fast asleep with his tail sticking upwards. Leshawna was also asleep with a light from her chest going that says 'Sleep Mode'. For Gwen however, she was cold and trying to keep herself warm from shivering when to her surprise was Duncan's coat over her. Taking this gesture surprisingly from him but shook it off. "Thanks, but I'm perfectly all right."

"Take it. Its freezing in the night." He insisted when sits down next to her.

"You sure. Won't you you be cold?

"Phh, cold never bothers me. I've been through worse."

The princess could have sworn she could feel her face turning red and tried to focus on more important things like finding a way back home. "There's too many stars, I don't know where Druidia could be."

"Right there."

She blinked her eyes and looked at him. "Where?"

"Right there." He points to the bright blue star. That bright blue star. You see it?"

"Oh, year. But its so gary a-away." Realised her face was right next to his and backed away from his.

"Ah, no worry. I'll get ya there."

"So which one's your planet?" She asked. not that she was interested but thought of asking.

Duncan shrugged his shoulders before answering her question. "Dunno."

The princess was a little surprise to hear this. "You don't know where your from?"

"Nope, somewhere in the Ford Galaxy."

She raised one eyebrow and asked another. "Well didn't the monks tell you who your parents were?"

"You kiddin'? They took a vow of silence. Not even the guys in Juvie."

"Wait, what were you doing in Juvie?"

"Oh, man you should've been there. Before I took hike after new years I sold some wigs to make people think they were pets and we had a city hall pool party. I was running around naked!" Laughing at the times of his early days. This got Gwen's interest and she laughed.

"Wait a minute I remember a while ago that not he news, some dude was running around butt-naked and the authorities dog-piled him. That was you?" Pointing at him with a grin and still laughing. Both her and Leshawna had saw it on the news and thought the naked male must've been in pain when being crushed under a number of officers.

"Hey, I was dared to do it! I couldn't chicken out and it was either that or kiss a dude's ass which I seriously never want to do." He defended. "My ex did not like how I was behaving and wanted to change me into something she prefer. Rather not talk about it."

She tried to hold her laughter. "I would probably pretend to know how you feel in that situation." She then got back to the topic. "But back that the question, wasn't there anything that could've been from your parents."

"Well all I got is this medallion around my neck, didn't think of giving it away unless its a priceless antic." Pulls out his golden medallion out of his shirt and show it to her. Gwen took a closer look at it and could see strange writing on it.

"Wow, its beautiful."

"So, how come you ran away from home? King Trent never explained the details."

Gwen sighed. "Well if you must know, I wasn't in love with the groom. Prince Justin."

"Wait, Justin as the dude who thinks is the most handsome guy in the entire galaxy? Girls on every planet would kill each other to marry him. So what made him not your interest?"

"Because I'm a princess, and I have to marry a prince."

"Oh, so he wouldn't do 'it' for you, huh?"

At his statement she blushed and sighed again. "No, he doesn't do 'it' for me." Looks down at the fire and let her head hung down. "I really must go back. I shouldn't have run away. I realise now that love is one luxury a princess cannot afford. Which really sucks, you know."

"Not in the royal status so, I guess your right." GIving her a straight answer. "But I doubt he'll even notice you or even having an affair with someone.

"Shut up!" Giving him a playful punch.

"Hey I'm just going along with it." Smiles and returns the favour. The two wrestle each other and then fell to the ground. The two stop laughing and realising the position they were in with Gwen beneath Duncan pinned down. Their faces blushing blightly and couldn't find the words to speak.

"Well there is physical contact I've wanted to do." She said shyly.

"Yeah." He agreed looking at her eyes.

"Being held in someone's arms, or even…kissed." The the two move closer and closer, closing their eyes until their lips were within inches to make contact

_BEEP! BEEP! BEEP!_

Both of the two suddenly felt themselves jumped out of their skins, their eyes wide as plates. Leshawna woke up with her chest light and alarm going off with 'Virgin Alert' on in. Owen was also woke up from his sleep by the alarm. "AH! Abandon ship! Everyone to the lifeboats! Women, Mogs and food first! AHHH!"

The Android rushed over to her friend and grabbed Duncan by the collar. "Don't even think about it, mister!" Turns to Gwen. "How far did he get? Where'd he touch?"

"Nothing happened." She said. Part of her completely forgot about the virgin alarm and annoyed that she didn't get her first too soon after being tackled to the ground and almost being kissed by Duncan. Realising what she was thinking she tried to scrub that thought out.

Duncan glared at the golden female robot. "Excuse me, miss goldenrod but what the hell was that noise?!"

"That was my Virgin Alarm. Goes off when someone is within physical contact."

"So your also a bodyguard, make sense after all you weigh one-"

"Finish that sentence and you'll find yourself six feet below ground!" Threatening Duncan with her curled fist inches from his face. Truns to Gwen. "Back to bed, princess. And as for you, sex thief."

"Alright, alright, we got a few hours of sleep and need to get up at dawn."

Owen was confused. "Why so early?"

"Because if you hadn't realised we're in the middle of the desert, and we're not gonna get far once that sun gets overhead to cook us like cooked sausages."

"Mmmm, sausages."

The four continue their journey through the scourging desert. As they try to keep going, they were beginning to get tired under heat.

"Water, water." Duncan repeated. Followed by OWen with his tongue hanging from his mouth.

"Chicken, cheese puffs, cake."

"Oil, oil." Leshawna followed behind him.

Gwen kepted her pace with them as she was the last person to follow. "Pool, pool"

They still go on, only half way to exhaustion and lack of food and water. Duncan was carrying Gwen in a bridal style and Owen gave Leshawna a ride on his back. "I can't, I can't, I can't go ooon! Can't go any further. I can't go any further."

"You keep saying that! Just another dune to go." Duncan replied.

"You said that three dunes earlier! Lost in a desert and we're gonna die in this hell hole!" Leshawna said in frustration.

"She's right. We're doomed! I got no more left! Oh, waiter, check please." HE said before falling over to the sand, dropping the android as she fell on her back with her legs sticking upwards. Duncan refused to give in and tried to go on further, only to find himself on his knees. Knowing his time was coming.

"Must go on. Must go-Ah, crap who the hell am I kidding." Simply let the unconscious Gwen drop to the sand and did so. "At least I won't have to worry about Pizza and his money." The four lay where they fell and succumb to the heat until a group of brown hooded dwarfs not far from where they are chanting "Dink" repeatedly in a musical tune. They spotted the fallen group and rushed to their aide, hoping they have not died. Helping them out with water and oil to replenish them. Owen was the first to regain conscionesss by the sign of his tail wagging.

"Oh thank you little dudes."

"That's the stuff, the oil is fantastic!"

"Uh, is it my imagination or did we just came to Disneyland?" Duncan asked. The four followed the 'Dinks' to where ever they lived and hopefully get off the planet before the Spaceballs come for them.


End file.
